Everybody knows dick size does not necessarily matter… except in relation to someone else.
The Dick Principle: A big dick does not matter until it affects someone else. Specifically, for the “What’s in it for me?” crowd, a big dick only does good when someone else is enjoying it.
This is a personal principle. And it is a business principle.
In bed, it’s self-explanatory (I hope). Unlike bedtime antics, however, in business, being a big dick can be a casualty. Unless you follow The Dick Principle. You can be a big dick (bad), but if you advance the needs of others, being a big dick in business can win you points, it wins them points, and you emerge Big Dick in the Conference Room (BDCR) in a good way by turning potential collaborative turmoil into a reason to know you more.
Case in point - Start Up Weekend Day 1: I met two big dicks.
One I want to have dinner with. One I hope to never cross paths with again. The difference?
Big Dick #1: The Good Kind – Dave McClure
In all fairness, just in case this is taken out of context, I have to say Dave is the anti-dick. I have no opinion on his personal measurements, but in the business sense, he is a powerhouse and he isn’t afraid to show it. (Incidentally, Dave has a neat presentation on how to give a VC a hard-on.)
So, how was he possibly in Big Dick territory and how did he turn it around? During the first evening, each Start Up Weekend SF participant got 30 seconds to pitch an idea. A panel of VCs, including Dave, graciously gave feedback not on whether the idea itself sucked, but if the pitch sucked… and how to make it better.
Dave wanted to make a point and he would grabbed the microphone and repeated mercilessly, braving being seen as a dick so that we learned how to pitch better (and make sure VCs got what they needed so we could get what we needed). His point: You have 30 seconds. For the most effective pitch, focus 80% on the problem, 20% on the solution. Katherine Barr, of Mohr Davidow Ventures, explains a concise reason why: With her extensive experience, she (and other VCs) have a good sense of what a problem might be worth, but not necessarily the worth of the specific solution. VCs are interested in market potential. Market potential = problem.
Dave repeated his mantra so much (in fact, he stopped several participants and made them rephrase their pitch more clearly in this “Problem / Solution” framework) that he apologized during the pitch session and afterward just in case he came across as a dick.
Dave: You are not a dick. And, if you were, you were a Dick with not only Heart, but Brains. You gave 200 very smart people an elegant framework for pitching: Relate.
Pitching Power Insight: When you pitch, by prioritizing the problem, you help people focus on a human truth: everyone’s suffered. Everyone may identify with a desire, a need, a frustration, or a fear. They get it because they’ve been there. If you only focus on solution, you run into another truth: Everyone thinks they have the answer. Or at the very least, they don’t have to like yours. Focus on solution too soon, and you give someone else more time to poke holes on your solution. Start with problem and you engage.
The Big Dick Principle at work: A big dick does good when someone else is enjoying it. Or, even though some of us may have writhed at being told what to do, in the long run, this is wisdom that will make us stronger at heightening excitement when it’s crucial.
Big Dick #2 shall remain anonymous, but she fell in the latter Big Dick category. I watched as she cut off someone mid-conversation because they weren’t what she needed. She was in it for herself. We’ve all met those kind of people, who only have time for what they need (or they think they need).
However, in a situation like StartUp weekend where it’s all about collaboration, relationships are key. You can take the chance differently: Listen more deeply, imagine possibilities, risk thinking outside of box about how to create new opportunities.
As you may have gleaned, the Dick Principle is not about individuals. It is about collaboration and how to stand out while having positive impact. Think about it: 200 amazing people in one room with strong personalities, ideas and passion… things will get loud, hot and heavy. By remembering the Dick Principle is not about one person, but teams, you can succeed in what you came to do: work it up, work it out and start up — not only 23 amazing companies (the count at the end of the weekend) but also the relationships that make it happen.
We may not end up with an idea that lasts, but we will remember the people we meet, and if we want to work with them again.
The Dick Principle: A big dick does not matter until it affects someone else. Specifically, a big dick only does good when someone else is enjoying it.
This weekend (or in any business situation), if you do need to be a big dick, think of the people you can impact and be a Big Dick For Good.
